Steps to Becoming Her

Becoming her is not a straight line. It's a series of decisions, a collection of moments where you choose yourself again and again even when it’s hard, even when no one understands. She's not some perfect version of you, but the truest one. The you who’s done hiding, done shrinking, done performing.

Here are the steps, not in order, and not with rules, but with grace.

1. Get honest with yourself

Becoming her starts with truth. Not filtered, not sugar-coated, just real. What’s not working? What are you tolerating that you’ve outgrown? What feels heavy, draining, or misaligned? Name it. Don’t run from it. Truth is the doorway to freedom.

2. Grieve who you thought you had to be

You might have spent years wearing masks, carrying roles, or trying to be “good enough.” Becoming her means gently letting that go. Mourning the versions of you that were built on survival, people pleasing, and fear. You’re allowed to outgrow your past without shame.

3. Start choosing yourself without guilt

That means saying no without explaining. That means listening to your body when it’s tired. That means showing up for yourself like you do for everyone else. At first it feels uncomfortable, selfish even, but over time, it becomes your new normal.

4. Do the inner work

Therapy. Prayer. Journaling. Quiet mornings. Forgiveness. Shadow work. It’s all part of it. Becoming her isn’t just about what you look like on the outside, it’s about the deep healing that allows you to feel safe in your own skin.

A Pretty Place to Fall Apart Journal

5. Move with intention

How you speak to yourself, how you dress, how you walk into rooms, let it be rooted in love, not lack. You don’t need to prove anything. She doesn’t beg, she aligns. She doesn’t chase, she attracts. And she does it by being whole, not by being perfect.

6. Protect your peace

Peace isn’t a luxury. It’s necessary. Pay attention to what drains you, conversations, habits, even your own thoughts. You’re allowed to walk away from chaos, even if it once felt familiar. Her peace is her power.

7. Keep becoming

There’s no final destination. Becoming her is lifelong. Some days you'll feel powerful. Other days, you’ll feel tender and undone. Both are okay. Both are part of the process. The goal is never perfection, the goal is presence. Integrity. Truth. Freedom.

Becoming her isn’t something you arrive at. It’s something you live into. Slowly. Gently. Boldly. One step at a time.

And the beautiful thing is, you’re already on the way.